Toxic Sponge: The One Who Listens to Coworkers' Complaints
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Do you know an employee who "absorbs" negativity in the workplace? They always listen to other people's complaints, be it from their colleagues or their boss. They're always seen as calm, capable, a good listener and makes everyone feel better after a conversation. They are known as "toxic sponge".
The main problem of being a toxic sponge is you will end up absorbing all the negativity. These negative energy will affect your life and sooner or later, you will find yourself unable to sleep, depressed, anxious or even thinking of finding a new job.
You may not know that you're a toxic sponge, but others do. You are the go-to person every time someone wants to complain about something.
You don't have to listen to everyone's woes.
It's nice that you want to help others by solving problems for your coworkers or your boss. Just remember that there need to be limits on what you can take or all that toxicity will affect your mental health.
Here's how to stop being a toxic sponge:
1. Know when to move away.
You're not the person's psychiatrist. Learn to back away from the person who needs professional help. If you continue to absorb the negativity, nothing will get better.
2. Set your limits.
As a toxic sponge, others may not notice that you're overloaded with problems because you seem to be so calm and accept whatever they say and want to help. But you have to learn to set your parameters of how and when you will deal with such issues. Find ways to firmly end a conversation by saying, "I'm expecting a call and I've got to prepare for it." You can also say, "I've got to be somewhere in a few minutes, so I'm going to cut it short."
3. Turn the issue around.
If someone comes to you to complain about something, try to make them more proactive instead of letting them whine. "Let's talk about how you can make this work" or "What makes you think it won't work?" are some of the ways to get the person focused on finding solutions. Or, if someone comes to you and tells a tale of woe about how their best friend just got dismissed, say something like, "That can't be easy. I'm sorry. Thankfully, we still have our jobs."
4. Give yourself some time to recover.
If you find yourself being dumped on, stop it as soon as possible and find ways to wring out your toxic sponge. Have a conversation with an upbeat family member or friend, go for a little walk, play with your pet or treat yourself to a relaxing massage.
Finally, please don't make excuses for people who frequently dump their problems on you. It's OK to lend a sympathetic ear now and again. It does not mean others can take advantage of you and expect you to drop everything just so you can listen to them and solve their problems. That's a form of manipulation that does no one any good.
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Source: On The Job
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